Clothes Make the (Wo)Man

So I have a new favorite show: Tim Gunn's Guide To Style. Normally I don't go for makeover shows; I feel like they're used to show off the designers, to show how much cooler and more stylish they are than everyone else. What's worse, the ones getting made over are totally silenced (because it was their bad taste that got them there anyway), while they're placed on a makeover assembly line, with each "expert" placing their own superficial mark on the subject, until the makeover-ees get to the end of the line, make their family and friends cheer for one fleeting moment, and then go back home, and all I can think is "in 24 hours, they'll be back to square one."

But Guide To Style is different. Instead of Gunn and his beautiful fashion accomplice, supermodel Veronica Webb, imposing their opinions like theirs are the only ones that matter, they dig deeper and really try to understand their makeover subjects, and why they choose to wear what they wear. While they provide guidance, Gunn and Webb never actually decide what their subjects should wear; it's up to the women themselves to discover their own style, and what feels right to them.

After watching the first three episodes, you'll find that a pattern emerges. All of the subjects on the show, to varying degrees, have the same problem: they all cling onto a past that doesn't reflect their present. One woman was in her 40's with a husband and daughter, and yet believed her 20's were the pinnacle of her life. Another woman had lost a tremendous amount of weight, but still dressed like she was 300 lbs. Another woman had moved around a lot, and believed she always had to blend in with each changing environment. As a result, all of them wore clothes that were unflattering, hugged them in the wrong places, and simply weren't them. As Gunn would say, they didn't "own" their look. Which of course made me ask the question, "did I own my look"?

After finishing the first episode, I immediately went down to my room started going through my own closet. Within that jungle of hangers and cloth, I found the same problem that haunted all these women; I had t-shirts from my college days, random underwear of different sizes and styles, dress shirts that were too big, worn out tops that were washed out and dull, etc. I wondered what was it in my psyche that urged me to keep these clothes, and what did I have to do to let go of my past, and embrace my present.

Ironically, my past was all about my future. Growing up, I was constantly reminded about the promises of the future. My parents both immigrated from the Philippines, constantly reiterating how important it was for them to give their children a better life. I had two older sisters who, by their presence alone, reminded me what my future had in store. It was a wonderful message that inspired hope and longevity.

But with all the reminders about the wonders of the future, I somehow twisted and corrupted the message into believing that the present wasn't good enough. I had to act older. I had to act wiser. I had to be in control. I had to anticipate all the consequences. I had to constantly think about the future. And my clothes reflected that. Very rarely did I have clothes that actually fit me. I always wore clothes that were a few sizes too large, anticipating that I would grow into them. Ironically, once I grew into those clothes, they wore out, so I would end up buying new clothes that wouldn't fit me!

So in that closet, I made the conscious decision to only wear things that fit me. I cleaned out most of my t-shirts and underwear, and stuck them into my luggage to be stored away in Oakland. I then went shopping at Ross (I may need to update my style, but I'm still on a budget), and only bought clothes that really felt right. My wardrobe transformation isn't quite complete, but I've got a good start. I also know I have a long way to go.

Clothes are superficial, but fashion is about how clothes make you feel. Ultimately, Guide To Style is about more than just designer clothes; it's about finding one's own confidence and self-worth. Because the right outfit won't disguise you; it will showcase who you truly are. And you are beautiful.