Looking at yourself on home video is a crazy experience.

During an interview I had today, one the members of the committee asked me about the person I saw in the mirror. I'm used to seeing that guy. He sounds, looks, acts, and talks just like me.

Just a few minutes ago I was playing around with my digital camera's video feature, and just for the hell of it, decided to record myself speaking, recite written dialogue, and singing (sort of). And strangely enough, the man captured in those videos was not a man with which I was familiar.

The man had a higher voice than I once thought, tension in his cheekbones, and overall had this funny karma emanating around him. He seemed to struggle with being... well... him. It was more like he was trying to be relaxed, be confident, be cool, as opposed to just being those things. He looked like one of the students I would meet at a general meeting, or that I would counsel when I was a SPEAR counselor. A man of great talent and potential, but a sense that something inside him is holding him back.

I think the biggest thing that disturbed me was that the man in the video seemed to feel that there was something not right about his environment. I could see how he could make people around him feel uncomfortable, like he wouldn't be satisfied with people being themselves. Because, for one reason or another, he seemed like he couldn't be himself.

If you have a digital camera with video features, you MUST TAPE YOURSELF AT LEAST ONCE. You may be surprised to see the person talking back to you.