Monday, August 21, 2006

It's Snakes on a Plane!!!

So it's been a while since my last update, and I have a lot of things to catch up on, but first, I must provide a movie review of what be the best movie of the year, SNAKES ON A PLANE.

Yes, Samuel L. Jackson does not lie; Snakes on a Plane is the best movie of the year. Period. However, your experience cannot and will not be enjoyable if you simply sit back and relax. No, more than any other movie you see this year, SNAKES ON A PLANE derives it's appeal from audience participation. And lots of it. In fact, it DEMANDS it. If you don't scream at this movie, the snakes will kill you.

Let me give you an example: when I saw the film with my family at Union City, we were doing our part: booing at the villain, cheering when Samuel L. Jackson came on and kicked ass. When this guy, maybe in his 20's, I don't know, turns and says to us: "Can you quiet down? I'm trying to watch the movie!"

I only have one thing to say to that guy: What kind of a FUCKING IDIOT are you?!?

This is SNAKES ON A PLANE. If you need to hear the dialogue to figure out what's going on, then it's obvious that your parents dropped you once too many times.

And just in case you are still too dense to figure it out, let me explain the plot to you:
  1. They put SNAKES ON A PLANE.
  2. The people go crazy, because there are SNAKES ON A PLANE.
  3. Samuel L. Jackson is a bad-ass motherfucker, and beats the crap out of the SNAKES ON A PLANE.
  4. THE END
Now that I've ruined the plot for all three people who couldn't figure it out, let me give you some advice to maximize your SNAKES ON A PLANE EXPERIENCE:

#1 WATCH THE LATEST SHOW POSSIBLE IN A CITY OR COLLEGE TOWN. This will maximize the opportunity to you will be watching people who "get it."

#2 WHEN THE SNAKES APPEAR ON SCREEN, HISS AND, IF AVAILABLE, THROW RUBBER SNAKES IN THE AIR. You must give respect where respect is due.

#3 CHEER WHENEVER SAMUEL L. JACKSON APPEARS. You must give respect where respect is due.

#4 COUNTDOWN AS THE CLOCK WINDS DOWN TO ZERO. AND THEN SCREAM "SNAAAAAAKES!!!!"

You can find more ideas of what you can do here. Note that some ideas are better than others.

So has anyone else watched SNAKES ON A PLANE? Post your experiences here!!!

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