How Real Are You?

I was just kind of pondering this question since it's a question that was inspired by some discussions in my Asian American women's course and I regularly read my xanga/livejournal/blogger subscriptions.

The question came up when we watched this film called "Surname Viet, Given Name Nam" where the filmmaker, Minh-ha, was kinda going through this presentation crisis. In the attempt to convey the "real" Vietnamese woman, Minh-ha used several different techniques, some simultaneously, to show the "real" Vietnamese woman. Sometimes Minh-ha would use unedited interviews in English, some were scripted in English, some were written in text, some interviews were subtitled. What was fascinating was that each tool gave you a different impression of the Vietnamese woman, which forced you to ask, which technique is best equipped to show the "authentic"?

With the proliferation of the internet, the new space to reveal ourselves is the online journal. And on one level, the online journal feels more "real." It's a journal, right? You know, the space where you confess your most intimate secrets and feelings? Those feelings are more real, right? More real than the stuff I'm too chickenshit to tell you in person, right?But let's step back a second. The internet is notorious for housing these maniacal alter-egos of these quiet, humble people in the physical world. And it shows in the online journal. There are folks who in person are really warm, but when they get a keyboard in front of them, it's like they're mad at everything. So which person is more real, the person you project in the physical world, or the one you type every few days?

Then there are the online journals who just give a rundown of a day. Example: "I woke up. I met up with friend X, Y, and Z. We had fun. Went to get lunch. Chicken was good. I'm tired now..." Is that who you really are? Just a group of linked events?

When I got into the online journal community, I came in thinking that this would be a good space for me to communicate where I was to the people I cared about, but didn't have access to, either because of differences in time or space. But as I got more into it, I saw that when I gave a run down of things to my day, was that really me? Yeah, it was things that I did, but is that who I really am? Is that all I am?

If you're wondering, this is not the swan song of my online journal life. Just wanted to add some random thoughts. And I never get responses to my questions, so I don't think I'll get any for this one, but what the hell:

Why did you get an online journal? What do you use it for?

OK, that was two questions, but this is a complicated issue.