Being Queer, and the Act of Personal Liberation

So yesterday, on October 30th, 2004, Samahang Pilipino put on its 3rd Queer Pin@y Conference at UCLA. It's the first conference of its kinds at UCLA since 2000. And it came back with a force.

This is actually the second time I've attended the Queer Pin@y Conference at UCLA. The first time was the 2nd Conference in 2000. I was a Senior in high school, and it was my sister, an ally, who was asked to put on a workshop for that Conference. So she asked me if I wanted to tag along, and since I'd never been to LA beyond just passing through the smog on the way to Long Beach or San Diego, I jumped at the chance.

You see, I grew up a Bay Area kid, and I had a strong dislike for Los Angeles. The Dodgers had beat my A's in the '88 World Series. They took money raised by the toll bridges in the Bay Area to repair their own buildings after the '94 Northridge quake. They took our water because they didn't have enough around their parts. They grew this concrete jungle to no end, only to find that they couldn't support it without grabbing resources from every which way. The air was horrible, and they had no concept of mass transportation. And worst of all, LA thought that it was the center of the friggin' universe.

So why did I go? I'd never seen a UC campus beyond Berkeley, Davis, and Santa Cruz. And I wanted to give LA a second chance. People were passionate LA, so there had to be something good about it. And a road trip without the parents provided an interesting opportunity as well.

So I left that weekend for what would be the best road trip of my life. I remember several folks telling me to visit colleges because when you step on one, you'll know whether it's right for you. I didn't understand that concept until I went to UCLA. It called to me. I sensed an energy that, beyond Berkeley, I didn't sense at any other college campus. I had UCLA dorm food for the first time, which, let's face it, is awesome compared with the alternatives out there. And the last thing I did before leaving the campus was attend the closing ceremony of the Queer Conference. It was the first time that I was introduced to the Unity Clap, which, if you've never done it before, is incredibly energizing. The next day my sister took me to Historic Pilipinotown for lunch, and after that I was sold: UCLA was where I wanted to be, and more importantly, where I needed to be.

Fast forward almost five years later, and I'm doing the opening remarks for the revived Queer Pin@y Conference that had a huge impact on my decision to come to UCLA. And the Conference really was remarkable. You know those times when you don't know what you did to make something happen, it just seems to happen, and you're just honored that it happened while you were there? This Conference was one of those things. To see all those queer Pin@ys in one room was such an amazing feeling. To see almost 100 folks find a space where they could feel proud of who they were, free of inhibitions or fear, is an inspirational and liberating sight, no matter what sexuality you embrace. It made me more conscious of the times and spaces where we don't feel proud of ourselves, where we feel shame and self-hatred, times which occur far too often. We subject ourselves to a spiritual slavery by accepting rigid frameworks what is normal and proper. To see these beautiful people actively challenge these frameworks, and re-discovering their self-worth, is both a blessing and, as one Pinay put it, a wake-up call. A blessing for showing me that there is hope for a liberated tomorrow. A wake-up call in that it took a conference to create that liberated space.

There's a lot of work to be done, but there's no doubt that there are people up for the challenge. The students are hell-bent that we won't have to wait another 5 years for a space for positive, liberated dialog to exist. I'm hell-bent on making sure that the space exists every day.