Like a Deer Caught in Headlights

So at precisely 11:55 pm PDT, I walked into 4428 Boelter Hall and turned in Project 2 for Computer Science 111, the most time-intensive programming course in the whole damn university. And as I walked away, a combination of relief, disgust, and a strong desire to forget came over me.

I'm reminded with the session with my TA just a few days ago concerning this project, which was just like most other sessions with TAs in my Computer Science classes. He'd say something, and I'd just kinda stand there. And any question I thought I could ask, and there were many, didn't feel like I'd get a response that I could understand. It was that sense that disaster was coming, but all my escape routes were confusing and disorienting.

So you are probably wondering why I'm still in this major of Computer Science & Engineering. Previous me's would address that question with "oh, I just loved the thrill of actually completing a project" and "there is a system of thinking that engineers have that I enjoy". And while those things still ring true, there's a third reason. Over the past four years, I hoped that over the course of taking these Computer Science classes that there would be that one professor, or that one piece of information, that would make the whole programming aspect make sense, and just have all the theory just fall into place with the vocabulary, kinda like in Tetris when you build with no gaps, save for one side, where a properly placed line would give you that epileptic celebration of a quad-killer. But employing that "good things happen to those that wait" philosophy has kinda grown old; the line never seems to come, and doesn't feel like ever will, and programming language, especially C, feels just as foreign as it did three years ago.

So what do I do in the meantime? Well I need to email my professor and make sure I'm in the best position to not fail, bust my ass on the final test and project, and after all that, take my programming partner out to lunch (Dan has really been a good sport and has been awesome working around my programming deficiencies. You're the best, Dan!). Thank God for Samahang and Asian Am, my ego saviors.

Summer in the (Univer-)City

I've read a few Xangas talking about missing friends & UCLA 'cuz they're at home or abroad, so I'm dedicating this entry to those folks so y'all can get a taste of UCLA, Summer style:

1. I get out of my car after driving around Westwood for 20 minutes for a parking spot. And no, I ain't lookin' for those 2-hr parking ticket-traps (they can and do get you on that).

2. As I head to class, I walk through De Neve Plaza. The atmosphere is definitely different than the school year. All of the undergrads are cooped up in Dykstra, where there is an especially large proportion of international students. All the frosh/orientation people take up Sproul, while all the conference visitor folks get the swanky De Neve suites.

3. After I get past the street light, I hear some loud cheers coming from Drake Stadium on my left. It's hundreds of high school girls in cheerleading camp. They're all in their uniforms chanting in unison after the facilitators, who all wear white T-shirts, white caps, and blue shorts.

4. As I walk past Pauley Pavilion on my right, I notice the remains of the Mercedes Benz cup tennis tournament. The spectacle included thousands of tennis fans, booths, advertisers blue carpet all over the place, and complete ownership of the Pauley Pavilion's South Corridor near the football practice field.

5. Continuing to pass Pauley, I see a hundred or so young men leave Pauley Pavilion in tank tops, baggy shorts, and high tops. Basketball camp.

6. To my left at the IM field is a game of flag football. Hmmmm... sports during the summertime, now that's an idea.

7. I finally get to Bruin Plaza where it seems like the UCLA store has an outdoor sale every week. Must be to catch all the students and parents on their orientation tours... oh look, there's a group now, getting all indoctrinated with how wonderful UCLA is, and how all the resources here are right at your fingertips, random facts about UCLA you'll probably never remember (hey, did you know that there are more than 7 million books in the UCLA library system? yeah, I know you didn't care, either), and the evils of USC. Yeah, let's see what their bill looks like after a quarter and they can tell us if they're getting their moneys worth.

8. The Wooden Center is still bustling with folks either trying to fit into that size 6 or look like 50-Cent. Some things don't change.

9. Before I get to class, I stop by the Student Activities Center and catch the hustle and bustle. All the Directors are finished with their training, and now taking care of other important things, like cleaning. The front staff is as busy as ever, just finished with one round of massive copying for training for the Directors and preparing for the second round of massive copying for training with all the counseling staffs. Students are still in and out for counseling with either the Summer Counseling Unit or the Summer Readmission and Retention Program. And, of course, from open to close, there's a meeting somewhere around.

10. When I walk out of the building, there's silence... wait, no one's on Bruin Walk?!?! What kind of alternate universe is this?

11. I finally get to class, but not before I get a call from Andy, chair of MEChA. The mother organizations are meeting again. Geez, it's been four years; you'd think our communities would be empowered by now...

So that's a summer day at UCLA in a nutshell. For you transplanted Bruins, what do YOU miss about campus the most?

Two Weeks in Review: Part III

The Big Move

So hopefully by the end of the week, this exhausting era of limbo and finding a place to permanently call home will be over. It was a crazy two weeks that turned into a crazy two months, and I'm ready to move on with my life. It would probably be too much to get into the emotional roller coaster, so I'll bullet point the significant events:

1. Company that owns the complex for my old place pushes up the rent by $50 a month. Combined with three roommates moving out, and not feeling I'm getting what I'm paying for anymore, I decide I want out.

2. Started with two roommates, but one bails just before we find a 3 bedroom place @ $1300 a month. Since the person who bailed worked, we would not have needed a co-signer, so instead we find another 3rd roommate,
and my father co-signs. But due to bad communication, an application never gets to my father, and $100 gets blown to credit checks that would've been good had they actually done a credit check w/my dad. I'd like to get my money back, but at this point it's not worth the hassle. (On a side note, it's probably a plus we didn't get the place. The commute would have been about 20 minutes without traffic, which means an hour with it).

3. Third roommate concludes that he wants to commute, and is released. Enter third roommate #3.

4. Countless searches later through Westside rentals and on foot, I finally find a decent place at a reasonable price.

And as of right now, everything but my roommate's credit check is in. I swear, if we don't get this place...

And so ends my "Two Weeks in Review" series, and hopefully I can move on to what you've all been waiting for, the rest of my life.

Two Weeks "In" Review, Part II

Before the review, I have a couple of comments:

1. I looked at my last entry and realized that I used the preposition "of" when I should have used "in". But instead of editing my entry, I decided to leave the error in all its glory.

2. I was working on this entry at about 2 in the morning when my comp crashed and it lost it. How sad.

3. At this rate, my "Two Weeks In Review" series will be finished by September.

And now, for your reading pleasure, the second installment entitled:

Endings & Beginnings: The Class of 2004

It's amazing how change can happen so fast and so swiftly. Just one month ago, myself and a bunch of my friends were doing the same thing we had done during that time of the year: study for finals, pay bills, working for Samahang, etc. Then two weeks ago, a good amount of those friends, including, Chuck, James, Maricar, Peachy Gretchen, and Merideth just to name a few, got up, donned the black robe, and took off with their UCLA degrees. And the whole whirlwind has brought up so much stuff that still keeps my head spinning:

1. The P-Grad celebration was both loud & joyous, and a hard hitting reminder that my time at UCLA is almost up.

2. Because two of my roomies have graduated (and the third wants to commute), I sit writing this entry in apartment #202 of the Goshen complex instead of #103. While I love the folks here in #202, the familiarity of #103 is something I miss.

3. With my new alumni friends, questions related to classes get thrown out the window and are replaced with real world questions like: "What are you going to do now?" "Have you found a job yet?" "What is living in [insert far-away city here] like?" and other questions that I have not even considered answering in my own life.

4. With a good chunk of my entering class graduated, I now reach the special status of "Super Senior", which supposedly means that I actually know something about UCLA.

5. Seeing my friends complete the task, I now feel so close to grabbing that degree, and yet so far because I'm getting really sick of Engineering.

6. Graduation parties rock.

7. It's difficult to put into words how much this graduating class has affected my life. When I first entered UCLA, it was a pretty lonely experience, starting over in trying to find my niche. Since then, these beautiful Pinays/Pinoys have been my family, and it's hard to think of college life without them. I can only wish them the very best in their journeys, and hope that they visit often. =P

Soon to come.... The Third Installment: The Big Move